Sunday, March 7, 2010

Today's naughty laugh

SPRAGGETT ON CHESS


The tight skirt...



In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus..

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

She tried to take the step, only to discover that she couldn't.

So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step.

Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"





The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."




Thx, Ole!


SPRAGGETT ON CHESS

Message in a bottle...

SPRAGGETT ON CHESS

What happens when we have a CFC President whose wife won't even let him have internet at home?  Just who wears the pants, anyway Eric?  But the real question is.....



''Who is Eric van Dusen?'' 

You may be forgiven for asking yourself this rhetorical question. Eric is,  infact,  our CFC Prez!  The most powerful member of the CFC.  He was elected last year, running on a platform of  'improved communication' with the Governors.  We have been more than  disappointed, as Eric has all but vanished from the scene.

We should have suspected something was amiss, however, when he informed us after being elected that his wife would not let him have internet connection at home.  We must have thought ''Well, Eric will just do his internetting at his office...''  but we did not realize that Eric also has a very high degree of absenteeism from his government job !  It appears that Eric has difficulties handling stress, and needs to take a lot of sick-leave...makes you wonder why Eric's friends in Ottawa encouraged  him  to become prez in the first place when his health is clearly an issue.


''I apologize for the lower service level but I am trying my best under the circumstances.'' wrote Eric in GL1, misleading everyone into thinking that the problem had to do with a laptop that needed repair. Since then Eric has slid off the face of planet Earth...E.van D. call home!
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However, this past week Eric van Dusen has shown signs of life!  He sent me a message to post on this blog for the CFC membership : ''I have been ill recently, but this has not prevented me from thinking of you! ''





PREZ ERIC VAN DUSEN:
'A passion for leadership'

(Do you really want 3 more years of this?)



SPRAGGETT ON CHESS

Quote of the day

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WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH...THE TOUGH GET GOING!



"I already hear some say that ... it's not the most important thing to be among the leaders, the most important thing is to make a good showing...I must tell you it's not so. You go into the games not just to sweat, but to win."
V.Putin (March 5, 2010)


Putin chides sports officials over Olympic flop


By VLADIMIR ISACHENKOV
March 2010


http://www.trib.com/sports/olympics/article_b229a114-57d7-571e-ad31-88221ef4393c.html


Prime Minister Vladimir Putin took Russian sports officials to task Friday over the nation's dismal showing at the Vancouver Games, despite what he described as generous state funding.

Putin told a government meeting that Russian sports federations must have broader power and specific responsibilities, more sports facilities need to be built and wages of coaches must be increased to prevent a similar humiliation when Russia hosts the 2014 Games in Sochi.


Tyagachev's head has already rolled this week

"I already hear some say that ... it's not the most important thing to be among the leaders, the most important thing is to make a good showing," Putin said with a wry smile. "I must tell you it's not so. You go into the games not just to sweat, but to win."

The Russian team brought home just 15 medals from Vancouver, finishing in sixth place. The team was 11th in the gold medal count with only three _ the nation's worst Olympic performance.

Putin, chairing a meeting to analyze the Olympic flop, said the government spent about $117 million in three years to prepare for the Vancouver Games _ a sum he claimed was comparable to that spent by the nations that won the most medals.

"I have got an impression that the more money we spend, the more modest the results are," he said, adding that the figure was five times the amount Russia had spent on preparations for the 2006 Winter Games in Torino.



Putin's remarks follow President Dmitry Medvedev's call for sports officials to step down or face dismissal. Russian Olympic Committee chief Leonid Tyagachev resigned on Thursday and Sports Minister Vitaly Mutko went on state television to repent, bemoaning the nation's aging sports infrastructure and the loss of the national coaching school.

Putin acknowledged that the wear and tear of Soviet-era sports facilities and emigration of some of the nation's top athletes and coaches had played a role in the poor showing. But he emphasized that the government's spending on sport should have brought a better result.

"Maybe the money we invested wasn't put where it should have been put, but somewhere else, where those who had it wanted it to go?" Putin said.

In a series of interviews, Olympic figure skating champion Irina Rodnina _ who won three gold medals for the Soviet Union before moving to the United States in 1990 to work as a coach _ decried the laziness and cronyism of Russia's sports managers. They are often accused of favoring their friends or those with money.

Putin said the entire system of training athletes must be changed. He said the work of sports federations must become more transparent and they must produce step-by-step plans. He also urged stronger incentives for promising athletes and better pay for coaches.

"We must take the best from the Soviet system of training athletes and also use modern international experience," Putin said.

In nine Winter Olympics from 1956 to 1988, the Soviet Union never finished outside the top two in the medal standings. Only twice it did not finish on top.

"Sochi is our national project, and we will pay the maximum attention to that," Putin said. "Millions of fans are waiting for our team to become the winner. In any case, it must be among the leaders in Sochi in 2014."


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Saturday, March 6, 2010

Today's Irish laugh

SPRAGGETT ON CHESS




Patrick O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!'

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.'

She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'

Patrick said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'

'Oh, that is very nice indeed, Patrick!' Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of Patrick's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'Patrick won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'

She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'

Thx, Ole!

Today's laugh

SPRAGGETT ON CHESS

AT THE ART GALLERY



At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.

The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench.  Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink willie.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment.

He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black men in a predominately white, patriarchal society.

'In fact,' he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink willie also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.'

After the curator left, an Irishman approached the couple and said, 'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'

'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?' asked the couple.

'Because, I'm the guy who painted it,' he replied. 'In fact, there are no black men depicted at all!

 He continued: 'They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.'

Thanks KC!

Saturday's tactics training

SPRAGGETT ON CHESS




Canadian master Bill Evans has recently finished a big project.....500 combinations.  This project is partly a ebook and partly a piece of software.

For only $9.99 you can buy and download the software by clicking on this

If you have any question contact Bill at  fwevans@gmail.com 24 hours a day!




BUT BEST OF ALL:  20% OF EACH PURCHASE WILL GO DIRECTLY TO SUPPORT CANADA'S NATIONAL CHESS TEAM!!


BUY CANADIAN AND SUPPORT YOUR NATIONAL TEAM!
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SATURDAY'S TRAINING SESSION!

Today's solutions may be found at the following link:
http://www.mrbiller.ca/BILLEVANS/CHESS/k451_500/index_578_644.html

GOOD LUCK!












SPRAGGETT ON CHESS

Topalov interview

SPRAGGETT ON CHESS

Immediately following his victory in the traditional Linares tournament last month, Veselin Topalov gave a short interview with Russian sports journalist  Yurii Vasilev.  Perhaps the most interesting part of this interview is when Topalov talks about why the match is being played in Bulgaria and not India.  It is clear that Topalov was not pleased with the lack of initiative by the Indian star, preferring to sit back and let the Bulgarian do all of the fundraising.

But to be fair, chess is not as popular in India as the press has led us to think.  For example, even though the current World Champion is Indian, it was impossible to find any sponsorship for last year's national championship!  Corporate sponsorship for chess in India is on the decline.


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Veselin, your play in the tournament seemed sometimes too risky, most experts agreed that against Anand you will not do that. Was that the goal of your play?

As all know very well before the world championship match no one will disclose his training. But I can say that to win such a strong tournament was not easy. Of course, my main goal was to train well. I played for my own pleasure and made moves, which I liked.

For example, in the game of the first round with Grishchuk, I realized that the sacrifice I have undertaken was very dangerous, but I liked this move and I made it!

Topalov vs Grischuk
Topalov has just made the speculative sacrifice  21.Nf5!?


I am not very pleased with the quality of the games - for all but one out of the four I won I cannot say that it was a clear victory from the first to the last move. But I played interestingly and enjoyed the games.

Is everything ok with the match in Sofia?


How can there be doubt when the head of the organizing committee is the Prime Minister of Bulgaria Boyko Borisov? The contract is signed with the organizers - and Anand's, and mine. The first game will be held on April 23.




Where will the match be?


In one of the most beautiful halls of Sofia - in the Military Club. It is in the heart of the city, right against the Russian Church. At the time when Bulgaria was a monarchy, in the hall where we play, there were balls which collected the aristocracy from all over Europe. This is a very beautiful place!

And where will be the delegations of the players?

The team of Anand - in Hotel Hilton, where Kamsky lived during our match, and my team - in Grand Hotel Sofia, where the players of Mtel Masters lived.

The prize fund, as I read, will set a record for the world championship match, not counting the famous rematch of the twentieth century, "Fischer - Spassky of 1992, the year in which at stake were $ 5 million.

In this match the prize fund amounts to 2 million euros, or about $ 3 million, but if Anand has shown the slightest activity, the prize fund would be 5 million.


India is a huge market and Anand is very popular there. But the World Champion preferred to come to a ready made situation and even to present himself as a victim. Of course he does not want to play in Bulgaria, but he does not have a choice as this was the best offer.

We were ready to play in India, the entire match or half of it, but Anand "did not lift a finger" to do something in this direction.





However, three million dollars - prize fund is not bad if you remember Kasparov was ready to play his matches - with Shirov, Ponomariov, Kasimdzhanov - and for a million dollars. But for none of these matches the money could not be found.

The prize fund for the match - this is public sector money?

No, it's from the private sector, sponsorship money, but guaranteed by the Prime Minister of Bulgaria Boyko Borisov, who I am very grateful, of course, as he played a big role.

What do you think about your opponent?

Anand is one of the greatest talents in the history of chess, he is now forty, and half of that time he is one of the strongest players in the world. However, I have to note that in Mexico, where Vishy won the world title, I did not participate due to the FIDE regulations.

Anand and Topalov have met almost 100 times


Regarding the forthcoming match, in Sofia purely psychologically for Anand will be much easier to play than for me. From me everyone awaits victory, while from him - nothing. If he loses, they'll say: he played in a foreign country. And if he wins - he is a hero!

There is no "plus" in your position?

My pluses - a "plus one", which I have in the classic games played with Anand, and "minus five" - in the age. He is 40, I am 35.

You followed the games of Anand in Wijk aan Zee at the beginning of the year?

Of course, I studied his games. "Plus Two" he scored, without really straining. It seemed that, if he wanted, he could participate in the fight for a first prize.

Let us digress a little from the match. They say you are a popular man in Bulgaria?

Well, of course. I was even invited on the show "Dancing Stars."

Do you feel like a "superstar"?

Bulgaria is a small country. There are people who can be proud of their accomplishments, but the stars of international level are few. A real superstar is Hristo Stoichkov. Now - Dimitar Berbatov.

He has a cousin - Kiprian Berbatov - who became IM at 11. Will you invite him to your team, like Ponomariov did with Karjakin when he was 11?



I know Kiprian Berbatov will be present at the match. It did not come to my mind to invite him in the team, I will think about it.






In Linares your seconds were the Dutch players Smits and L'Ami - apparently they will be included in your team? And your former assistant Ivan Cheparinov, the famous master of making "debut mines" - too?

You are well aware, people whom you call will help me in preparing for the match. But there will also be others, which for obvious reasons, I would not yet disclose. Of course, the information tends to leak out, but let the opponent not get it out of my hands.
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Personally, I think the match between Topalov and Anand will be very exciting.  Both players have dynamic styles and play sharp openings.  However, I believe that Topalov is a big favourite, and I feel certain that he will crush the Indian.

Recently Anand's play has been showing signs of deterioration and lack of imagination.  In Corus it took him for ages to finally win a game (against Shirov!), and he won only after Shirov missed an easy win.  His play is certainly not that of a World Champion.  Perhaps Anand has health issues.

On the other hand, Topalov likes to take calculated risks, and sometimes he assumes too much risk!  Should Anand be able to exploit this characteristic of the Bulgarian star, then he might have a chance.  Despite the declining level of play by Anand, he still remains one of the most difficult players to beat!

I certainly look forward to a great match!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Che for Idiots

SPRAGGETT ON CHESS

The most popular image of the legendary CHE


Che was a very strong amateur. His love of the game was the principal reason why the Olympiad in 1966 was organized in Havana. It is also no wonder why chess is so popular in Cuba today.



In those days you were allowed to smoke during play



Deep in thought. And a great pose.


Kibitzing. Che was quite friendly and had a great sense of humour, especially when he was not waging revolution. GM Pachman tells of a time when he was approached by Che: ''You know, comrade Pachman, I don't enjoy being a Minister, I would rather play chess like you, or make a revolution in Venezuela."


During the 1966 Olympiad Castro at a photo opportunity with the American genius




BOTH CHE AND CASTRO , SOON AFTER TAKING POWER IN 1959, REALIZED THAT RUNNING A COUNTRY WAS MORE DIFFICULT THAN JUST TAKING IT OVER. FOR A TIME THEY BOTH THOUGHT OF RETIRING FROM THE REVOLUTION, AND BECOMING PROFESSIONAL GOLFERS TOURING ON THE INTERNATIONAL CIRCUIT:
AFTER ALL,

HOW DIFFICULT CAN GOLF BE?

But very soon it became evident that Che had no talent! Golf was much more difficult than shooting a machinegun in the jungle.



No matter how much he practiced, Che could just not improve. (He actually seemed to be getting worse!) Castro began to get impatient with Che...


''Watch this!'' Castro decided to show Che how to hit the damn yankee ball.


''Voila! That is how it is done. Are you paying attention , Che?''


However, fortunately for both the Revolution and the game of Golf, Che and Castro decided against turning pro, and went back to doing what they had talent for...besides, there was little future in that clothing line!

IMMEDIATELY AFTER SEIZING POWER IN 1959, CASTRO HIRED A BIG NEW YORK PUBLIC RELATIONS FIRM. HE REALIZED THAT IMAGE WAS ALMOST AS IMPORTANT AS GOOD POLICY. THE RESULTS WERE IMMEDIATELY SATISFYING TO CASTRO...

BEFORE
THIS MAN SEEMS TOO FRIENDLY. WHIMPISH EVEN. CERTAINLY NOT A LEADER TO INSPIRE FEAR AND RESPECT


AFTER
NOW THIS IS A REAL LEADER! SOMEONE THAT NO ONE CAN TRUST! NOT EVEN HIS MOTHER.

CASTRO WAS SO IMPRESSED THAT HE TOLD CHE ABOUT THE PR FIRM, AND THEY GOT TO WORK IMMEDIATELY . THEY TRIED SEVERAL IDEAS TO CHANGE HIS IMAGE...

FIRST TRY

NO WAY! CHE THREATENED TO SHOOT THE PR REPRESENTATIVE

SECOND TRY

BETTER, BUT POLITICALLY INCORRECT


FINALLY CASTRO SUGGESTED USING THE SAME CIGAR THAT HE USED...

and the result is the second most popular image of the legendary CHE


SPRAGGETT ON CHESS

Making the most of a bad situation

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There is no humour in  tragedy, but the recent floods that have occurred almost simultaneously all over the world have given opportunity to show how adaptable and indomitable the human spirit can be.  A friend sent me the following photos, showing how life continues, regardless of hardships. 
































SPRAGGETT ON CHESS