







You gotta watch your peaches at all times



Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum (ASSOCIATION FOR THE ADVANCEMENT OF RETIRED PERSONS)
Q: Where can men over the age of 50 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt .'
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly - wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.
Q: Why should 50+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 50+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 50+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: 'Gosh, I remember these. (thx Sue!)
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A lot of bull; and its not the Prez' letter!
My favourite team in the whole world!
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."The blonde starts crying and says to her husband, "That is so horrible." Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is that risk involved." After a few minutes, the blonde, sobbing softly, says, "How many is a Brazilian?"


If White makes the natural retreat (d1), he will only draw!
















And the game is clearly drawn now, as the reader can easily verify for himself; the Black King can not make it back in time and so Black will have to give up his rook for the pawn.


Play would proceed:









White has achieved a fortress, where the Black King can not break past the f-file and the Black Queen can not win the White pawn. The reader can verify this himself easily enough, or go and check in any table base.
Returning to the initial position, it should be mentioned for the sake of thoroughness that White can draw by moving his rook to any of the squares that are coloured blue in the diagram above. The technique in each case might vary, but is outside of the scope of this article to deal with. The essential point to remember is that any rook move other than g8 allows White to draw!
I believe that Alain Villeneuve's analysis of this ending is remarkable, and sheds much light on the secrets behind this class of ending. In my opinion, Villeneuve is one of the world's foremost authorities on the endgame, and I recommend the readers get a hand on his books!
Finally, I would like to recount to the readers a bit about my visit to Alain Villeneuve's home in Paris this past month. As explained in an earlier blog entry, I was invited to give some lectures at a club in Paris (which was successful) and on Wednesday Jean-luc Seret brought me to Alain's home.
Apparently every Wednesday (for the past 40 years!) Alain and a group of his friends get together to play chess, exchange ideas and analysis, take a look at games and what not. But especially, to look at endgame studies and problems! I was most impressed with the depth of knowledge of those who attended. I must confess that I was a bit out of my depth! I did not know how big and colourful the world of studies and compositions was. Being a practical tournament player at heart, I had neglected to notice all those players who don't play in tournaments but who find much fascination and enjoyment in creating studies and problems. Has any one of you readers ever heard of a chess problem that requires 25,000 moves to win? Amazing!
PS: (Wednesday 8,April) Alain Villeneuve's analysis can be found on a number of different sites (in French). The following is quite good:
http://www.france-echecs.com/index.php?mode=showComment&art=20061225181612247
As for the incorrect analysis of the Kramnik/Kasparov teams, check the informators from 2000 as a starting point. Some of the incorrect analysis is there. There are also other links, since the games' analysis was reproduced in hundreds, if not thousands, of sites immediately following the match. Then there have been 'improvements' by Kasparov himself put on the net since 2000, but they also contain errors.
It is important to remember that the 6 piece table bases did not exist in 2000, and infact only recently became available. I am certain , however, (even without the help of table bases)
had the analysts devoted more time and attention to the ending, that their errors would have been discovered.
That being said, rook and pawn endings are notoriously difficult to analyse. Even for great players like Kasparov and Kramnik. My view is that it takes years for these errors to be spotted (since few players are really willing to devote time to checking the analysis) and it is not unheard of that endings have been completely misunderstood for 50 years or more. We are human, after all, and that gives us the right to be wrong!
One last comment: even Kasparov's analysis of the famous Lasker vs Rubinstein ending from St.Petersburg in 1914(that is presented in one of his books on his predecessors) contains a few important flaws. Much of Kasparov's analysis in these books is just fritz and other programs...and these programs really can not play the ending with any degree of precision.
Proper endgame analysis can hardly compete with publishing deadlines...
SPRAGGETT ON CHESS